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Reading Topic: The Worst Published Monsters
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Gam
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The Worst Published Monsters
Living Wall
from: 2nd Edition Monstrous Manual™ Game Accessory 2140 pages 224 & 225.
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08-27-02 16:18:53 |
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diaglo
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vulture lions. Deities & Demigods.
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08-28-02 09:45:36 |
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Mira
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I thought many of the Fiend Folio monsters were pretty bad, the only one whose name I can remember is the Carbuncle.
The Tako (2E Monstrous Manual) is bad if only for the name choice, too many Tako Bell jokes ^o^
Mira (A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing.")
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08-28-02 10:03:25 |
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Kerrick
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Yeah, a good number of the monsters from the FF were totally worthless... the tirapheg, for instance. WTF were they THINKING?
The sussurus... even tge new version of it looks pretty cheesy, though at least they managed to find a justifitcation for it...
The witherstench, something that looks like a skunk that's a victim of radiation poisoning...
And everyone's favorite, the flumph. I HAD to include that one... 
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08-28-02 14:43:37 |
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Deathwind
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Shreikers. Fata$$ed, slow-moving mushrooms which squeal like stuck pigs as a reaction to light. They aren't bad in my opinion, but I found it funny that the love affair between RPG's and mobile mushrooms dated back to 1981.
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08-29-02 21:26:28 |
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JASPER
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Tween a monster where every rerolls
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08-30-02 12:14:51 |
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Puck
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Some of them really sucked!
Yeah the flumph was really iffy. It's amazing when you think about just how many mobsters you DON'T use, but you still seek out/design more?? Twisted isn't it?
My own pet peeve is the disenchanter..it's cack
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08-30-02 13:03:12 |
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Mira
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Quote:Originally posted by Deathwind
Shreikers. Fata$$ed, slow-moving mushrooms which squeal like stuck pigs as a reaction to light. They aren't bad in my opinion, but I found it funny that the love affair between RPG's and mobile mushrooms dated back to 1981.
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They go back much further than that actually, I know that they are in module B1 which I believe predates the 1E Monster Manual (which is 1979 or 1980 I think). Shriekers have been around forever!
Mira (When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? )
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08-30-02 14:40:18 |
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Deathwind
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Quote:They go back much further than that actually, I know that they are in module B1 which I believe predates the 1E Monster Manual (which is 1979 or 1980 I think). Shriekers have been around forever!
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Cool! But honestly, here are just 3 examples of recent fungi-philia:
1:The entire Mario Series for an assortment of Nintendo systems. Hell, one of his friends, Toad is a frigging shroom!
2:Secret of Mana, SNES; the Mushboom! (Shreiker with a face, no ill reaction to light, and they puke spores at you.)
3.Earthbound, SNES; Ramblin' Evil Mushroom, SHROOM, and Mushroomization, which is a condition in which the one afflicted has a mushroom growing on their head.
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08-30-02 20:05:29 |
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Puck
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Fungophilia
You forgot "Pocky and Rocky" and "Mystical Ninja" with their leaping all-action toadstools
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08-30-02 21:51:13 |
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Adlon
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09-01-02 18:58:16 |
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Trine
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I haven't seen most of the monsters in question here, but I'd just like to let you know that if their stats and pictures are half as funny as their names... Well, that's pretty funny!
Bunyip and Stwingers are probably my favorite names of the two. Heheh.
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09-02-02 23:20:23 |
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Adlon
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09-03-02 13:15:33 |
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Trine
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It's inconceivable to me how the first two would be able to attack at all without falling over all of the time. Especially with them both being depicted as wielding axes. They take a lot of force to swing, somehow a one-legged one-armed thing doesn't exactly fit into my mind as being something that could do such.
The next looks to be a cross between an elephant, a lion and a leopard. How they possibly came up with that one, I really don't know.
Stwingers are just... odd. That's a good way to describe them I think. I'm not sure if they'd ever be useful in a campaign, except for as an annoyance (to all players, DM included).
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09-05-02 14:14:33 |
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Mira
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Quote:Originally posted by Trine
The next looks to be a cross between an elephant, a lion and a leopard. How they possibly came up with that one, I really don't know.
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One could try crossing an elephant and a rhinocerous, but what to call it?
Elephino...
Mira (Life is a terminal disease)
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09-05-02 15:49:43 |
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dkstr0
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Quote:Originally posted by Deathwind
Shreikers. Fata$$ed, slow-moving mushrooms which squeal like stuck pigs as a reaction to light. They aren't bad in my opinion, but I found it funny that the love affair between RPG's and mobile mushrooms dated back to 1981.
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Speaking of shriekers, in 3rd ed, Shriekers are even more useless: They can't move. All they do is shriek when someone enters a room. Here's the funny part: THEY'RE CHALLENGE RATING 2! ROFL
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Player: Uhm... ok I'm gonna just stand behind everyone else and smoke pot.
DM: You don't have any pot. You never bought any!
Player: How the hell would you know that? The stuff is illegal, I THINK my character would be secretive about it!
DM: You hear a faint mooing sound.
Player: Huh? What the f*ck?
DM: The mooing grows louder and louder until at the last moment you look up to see a gigantic cow fall on your head. You take 50d20+5000 points of damage, and your body is crushed into oblivion. (To the other players) You guys can't loot his crap, because the cow weighs 7 million pounds. And don't say it's impossible, because it just so happens to be a magical effect. (To the idiot player) How do you like that? GOD HATH STRUCK DOWN ON YE!!!!
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09-22-02 13:49:38 |
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JASPER
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of course my players would say my homebrew snowmen.
They as cold as ice. Still have oneplayer who fireballs kids snowmen. AH! the silliness that we do when have 2 days to game day and no idea for an adventure.
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09-27-02 09:48:23 |
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Gam
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I've produced some pretty stupid homebrew monsters, too. Over the years, some of my claims to infamy have included boulder beholders, winged and aquatic tarrasque, dinosaur dogs, and, by far the worst, the result of 36 hour gaming delerium,-->insert drumroll<-- .... the giant attacking penis. (It had a breath weapon)
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Last edited by: Gam on 09-30-02 15:10:40 IP: Hidden |
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09-30-02 15:07:08 |
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Adlon
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10-03-02 06:21:03 |
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Prince Kelwyn
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The Nilbog, definitely the nilbog. Its in the original FF.
Kelwyn
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10-12-02 17:35:11 |
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ubiquity
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uhhhhhhhhh....yeah,..
i was waiting for someone to say nilbog!
what's up with those things?..how are they supposed to work in play? blackcloak,..what say ye?
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01-31-03 06:15:49 |
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ubiquity
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...and btw,..i agree on that the living wall is being overlooked for it's greatness!
if a mage capable of teleporting were eaten by it,...where would it go?
...after it's maker of course! lol!
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01-31-03 06:19:27 |
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ubiquity
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gee,..i wonder what would happen if you fed a nilbog to a living wall? lol!!
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01-31-03 06:27:43 |
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Gam
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What would happen if you fed an attacking shed to a living wall?
Would the eyes on a living wall be literal windows and not just the metaphorical "windows to the soul"?
[Damn that's dry ... too much Doctor Who lately, I guess ...?]
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01-31-03 08:17:13 |
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Skeptical_american
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The worst published "monsters" were the gods themselves in Deities & Demigods and later in the Legends & Lore. TSR should have never published actual game statistics for the gods themselves. I cant count on my fingers and toes how many times at gatherings or convensions I heard of someones character killing a god, or worse an entire patheon of gods.
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01-31-03 14:39:30 |
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